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“All the other kids with the pumped up kicks you’d better run…”
So, in the few short months since I last posted, I have been working on getting healthier. On September 1st, I officially joined the Hard Knox Roller Girls Flat Track Roller Derby league. This is a milestone for me. Not only because I am a relatively unfit 37 year old, but also because I do have this Monster Spawner called MS (multiple sclerosis).
It all happened like this….for my 37th b-day, my husband got us Roller Derby tickets. I had been trying to get him to go with me for several months (maybe even years). Then he surprised me with tickets! We had a amazingly fun time, and kept going to the bouts. Finally I said, “hey, I bet I could do that!” and asked about what it takes to join the team, and then showed up at a practice. I didn’t have any gear, and I had even less of an idea about what I was getting in to. After watching the veterans practice several times, I was absolutely amazed at their skill, endurance, and heart! It didn’t hurt that all of the women on the team are amazingly gracious to newbs. Each of them swore up and down that they started with no skills, and anyone could do it. So I bought my gear and took that challenge. The first practice that I skated at was on a Wednesday. The weekend before I went to that practice, I went to the local skating rink and rented some skates. I huffed and puffed around the rink a couple of times, and fell on my ass so hard that my bell was rang. After 30 minutes, I was done. Put a fork in me! My husband was so let down because I just couldn’t keep going. As I was walking out of the rink, the guy who works there told me that I should just forget about derby. I was hurting and frustrated and ashamed. I cried all the way home. Then, I went to practice on Wednesday with the team. Boy, imagine my intimidation. I couldn’t even stand up on skates. But damn it, I was going to try. Thankfully, those Roller Derby women are awesome role models and wonderfully encouraging mentors. So here it is, almost 2.5 months later, and I am still trying. In fact, I am getting ready to take my derby skills test in 2 weeks. I go to team practices on Sunday evenings, and I skate with a group of newbies on Tuesdays. I no longer go to practice hoping to not fall in a painful way. Now I go to practice expecting NOT to fall. But with the realization that I will get back up and try again if I do. It is empowering to see my body being able to move this way. It is motivating to see people who are working to bring their skills up to my level, as well as to see those women who are so far beyond my level and knowing that if I keep working at it, some day I will be there as well! And it is neat to see how my body is changing. I have lost at least 10 pounds since I started skating. My clothes are fitting much more loosely. My face is getting more slim. Since my last neurology appointment, I have lost 20 pounds. That made my neurologist very happy….however….
My neurologist told me that I should not be skating to compete. Roller Derby is a fierce competition. And if you get overheated, you can’t just stop playing. And for those of us with compromised neurological systems, getting overheated can stop your body from being able to receive the signals it needs to in order to function properly. This is due to a phenomenon known as Uhtoffs Syndrome. Heat will slow down the transmission of signals throughout your neurological system for anyone. For those of us with compromised systems, the signals may be completely surpressed, so our neurological function can stop. Symptoms that we experienced with the onset of this disease will flare up. And most of the time, as we cool down, these flare-ups will subside. But some time they might not. And that is my fear. When you get a flare up due to Uhtoffs syndrome, it is called a pseudo-exacerbation, or a pseudo flare-up because it should go away. So I am now practicing with the knowledge that if I keep it up and keep pushing myself beyond my comfort level, my neurological system may become damaged beyond repair. I have a FEAR now. And I am choosing to fight through it. I have added some cooling clothing to my amazon wishlist. I wear a wicking shirt during practice. I drink plenty of water, and maybe I take more breaks than most of the other girls. But I am fighting to be a better skater, and I am fighting to keep my MonSter under control. I have Multiple Sclerosis and I am a Roller Girl. I’m going to keep on Rocking and Rolling. And occasionally I will fall!
But I will keep getting back up!
