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“Hey, you’ve got to hide your love away….”
The things I KNOW.
So this afternoon I started to think about things. I went to the local Chipotle restaurant to pick up two veggie bowls for my husband and I to share with my step-daughter. As I was walking back to my car, I was approached by a very VERY rugged looking woman wearing outdoor clothes in layers, with her salt and pepper hair braided into two braids – one on each side of her hair.
“Can you spare some money so I can get some food?”, she asked. Here I am, walking down the street with a bag full of wonderful food to share with my family, and she asks me for food. I offer her a veggie bowl, explaining that it is veggies and rice, sour cream, cheese, and guacamole. She kind of nods and looks quizzical. I am not sure if it was because she didn’t believe me, or didn’t know what I was talking about, or what, but she took the bowl I offered, and I walked back to the Chipotle to replenish my bag. I also get her some napkins and a fork.
I come out, and hand her the fork and napkins, and she tells me that I have a beautiful smile, and then asks me how I can be so happy.
Her face was wrinkled and pocked with time and hard living. Her voice is slurred and she seems like she may have a bit of mental inefficiency. Maybe she has done a lot of drugs in her life and they have taken their toll. Maybe she has experienced a lot of tragedy that has warped her mind. Maybe she was born just a little off. And for this moment, she really is amazed by me.
It is obvious that she asks me how I can be happy because she has a difficult time being happy. Her mouth distorts as she asks, in the way an infant will sometimes scrunch their face up right before they are getting ready t begin screaming because they can not communicate their needs in any other way.
SO I stop to talk to her. She hugs me when I give her the food, and I hug her back. And I keep smiling at her. And I tell her how I can be happy. I begin by saying that there is a lot of shit in this world. A lot of things that are going on that people can be negative about. So we have to always be on the lookout for the things that will make us happy. “I woke up this morning,” I tell her. And obviously so did she. And there are people who didn’t. That is something for me to be happy about. With every breath I take today, someone else is breathing their last. I saw a cat cross a busy section of street today, and it was unscathed. I love cats, so that made me happy. I am sure that some investment banker made a million dollars today, and maybe that made him happy. That is not where I am or what I am about, so I find the happiness in smaller things. Sometimes my body fails me, and so I find happiness in things that I have not done.
There is always something to be happy about. For all of us. So we need to find happiness in whatever we can. If your mind requires you to only be happy with great things, then you will have to be in a position to do great things. If you aren’t in that position, you can adjust your perspective to find those smaller things that will make you happy. This does not mean that you have to always be satisfied. That you don’t have to try to better yourself or even DO better. This just means that you can be happy in life as you pursue better. There should be nothing about happiness that makes you complacent. Happiness should not be tied to what you do or can do. It should be less visceral. For me, happiness feels supernatural! It is a strength that I can borrow from or find regardless of where I am in life or what is going on with me, or what I am doing!
So what I was trying to let her know, while her tragic face kept contorting, and her body stench wafted through my nostrils, was that she can be happy too. If she wants. And so can you.
And then this Beatles song popped in to my head. And the Beatles are not always right. You should never hide your love away. Because showing your love shares your love. Some day, you might pass a woman on the street who smells a little rough and looks even rougher, and she may see your love, and it might help her.
And THAT might help you!
I am feeling holiday sentimentality. This season, even though I haven’t decorated, and have barely cooked, and haven’t wrapped a single present, I am happy. I have been singing holiday tunes, and loving my family with all that I have. And I feel loved too!
